Settling

This past month has been horrifying, eye-opening, yet wonderful at the same time. My child went completely off the deep end, and we may finaly have a solution. After two solid weeks of pure hell, we finaly found a psychiatrist that will see Jackson. We got him in and he observed the Jack Attack in action. After going over all of our problems, both recent and on-going, my child has a possible diagnosis of the alphabet. ADHD is for sure. PDD is for sure. (Pervasive Developmental Disorder) Oppositional Defiance Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder are two that are likely. He is in the high risk category and is already showing signs of BiPolar Disorder, at THREE years old. I just want to choke the living shit out of his birthparents for even THINKING that it was okay to breed.

Anyways. The doctor first suggested we try Melatonin to help Jackson get to sleep at night, since that is a major, on-going issue that only makes things worse. We tried the melatonin for a week and saw absolutely no improvement, so I let the doctor know and he put him on Clonidine. I want to make something very, very clear for the people who don’t know us and our situation, before things are said about this. I know exactly what Clonidine is. I know how dangerous it can be for children. I was absolutely dead-set against anything like this for so long, but our predicament has gotten to the point that if something is not done, my THREE  YEAR OLD BABY was heading for a psychiatric ward, and I wasn’t far behind him.

I am ALWAYS willing to find alternatives for medication, even with myself. I don’t like taking advil, and will hold out for as long as I can, so putting Jack on a drug that has the potential to KILL him if used improperly is something that I prayed and thought about very long and hard over. Kids get into things, even when it’s locked up in a cabinet. All it takes is ONE time of me leaving it out on the counter or forgetting to latch the cabinet. I am very aware of this. We especially have to watch Jack with this, because he has realized that the medicine he’s on makes him loopy and goofy, and he likes it, so he wants to take it ALL the time.

I really don’t like that. Not one bit… a toddler wanting to get high. YAY, parents of the year here!! LOL

So. Clonidine, very low dose at night before bedtime, and he’s sleeping like an ANGEL! All the way through the night, unless something wakes him up, like it would anyone else. He’s not waking up for every tiny noise or light variation. He is still getting up super early, but that I can deal with. He is staying in his bed most mornings, we’ve only had one morning in two weeks that he’s gotten up before anyone else and got into something, and he didn’t even make a mess. WOOT! His behavior has changed ten-fold, also. We all figured he was this way because he was so tired, but actually seeing the change has been amazing. He’s gone from literaly screaming for hours on end, fighting me over every tiny request, demand, suggestion, and just being miserable to being a normal, happy little kiddo. We still have some issues with the defiance that we need to work on, but things are SO much better!

You all have to remember that it’s not that Jack DOES these things, like throwing fits or throwing things or being defiant… it’s HOW he does it. The extreme mood swings are more than what a toddler normally has. The tantrums are severe every time, over nothing, and start out of nowhere. He is giddy one second and raging the next with no trigger. He can’t sit still, ever. I’m not even exaggerating a little bit. He has absolutely no impulse control. He sees it and goes after it. He got stung by a wasp last week because he just HAD to pick it up after being told 10 times NOT to touch it, that it would hurt him. He chugs drinks and wolfs food like he’s never going to see another bite. He screeches when he’s excited and can’t be calmed down. He hits when he’s excited and can’t be calmed down without a tantrum. He purposly irritates people, mainly me. Kids irritate the SHIT out of their parents all the time, but again, it’s HOW he does it. He will follow me around the house, making this awful screeching/baby alligator cry sound after I ask him to do something. It doens’t matter how long I ignore him, how many times I get up and move, it progresses until he gets a reaction. Then he screams and hits and bites himself, me, the dogs, whoever’s around and after he’s done freaking, he starts following me around doing the noise all over again. It goes on all day, every day. THEN we have days where he’s perfectly calm, and good, and plays with his toys and talks and is a joy to be around. It flops back and forth. The clonidine at night has knocked out the really bad stuff, now we just have to work on the little stuff that still impairs him to some degree.

I really am proud of him, and happy we got this sorted out. We went to Applebee’s for dinner this weekend. Normally that involves us taking turns sitting outside with him during dinner because he’s gone bat-shit crazy over god-knows-what. It’s stressful and irritating and no fun at all. This time the kiddo sat there, colored while we waited for our food, and ate without a hassle. I only had to get on to him once, and I don’t even remember what it was for, but it was NORMAL. We ate, we laughed, we joked, we even had desert, and no one had to go sit outside and deal with stares and glares and people laughing at us or telling us what bad parents we are.

It was perfect. :)